Also,

where have I been for like 3 years, because I have totally missed So You Think You Can Dance.

I think I thought this was like a poor-man's American Idol, but after AI's completely lackluster 6th season (I mean, please, it just took me about 20 seconds to remember who the heck even won! Ugh, that phony Jordin!), I have become totally electrified by the dancing hotties on this summer reality show. I don't care if half the guys are gay or if the girls have to resort to strip-club kind of dances to stay on the show (although Jessie the panty-dancer did go home this week, despite Lauren dancing to, horror of horrors, POPOZAO, by the esteemed Kevin Federline. I kid you not, I just about fell off the couch that someone would actually SELECT a SONG by KEVIN FEDERLINE to DANCE FOR HER LIFE, and then, NOT GET BOOTED OFF! Sorry, I digress.), or if the judges talk out of both sides of their mouths, keeping "creative" over "talented," or if Mary Murphy screams incoherently about hot tamales every 13 minutes. I am smitten!!!

Here is who I like, "I" being someone who has zero dance skills whatsoever short of pumping my arms wildly and singing along to the song that I am dancing to:

Sara. Maybe I just think white girls who dance hip-hop have, like, my secret dream job. Or maybe I think she is genuine. I am sad that her partner Jesus went home last week, but I am glad because she gets to dance with ....

Pasha. Oh dear Lord. I have a grown-up crush. I like when he wears those black dance pants. And dances in them.

That leaves Dom and Sabra! I love them! Go Dom and Sabra! Oh Dom, you look so tough and mean and hardcore, when in fact, you are willing to shave your toes for the good of the dance. And Sabra, if only I could have taken up dance at 17 and become wildly good at it! You are my hero!

Heck, let's throw a picture of Kameron-with-a-K up here for good measure:

Does he kind of look like Johnny Knoxville, or Josh Duhamel, or like a combo of both? Or is it someone else completely? Either way, mmmmm.

Next I'll discuss Wade Robeson. Is it true that Britney cheated on JT with WADE? If so, despite my love for JT, I can understand why she would do that!