I'm feeling a bit vitriolic today -- riding the Orange line tends to do that to a person -- and so I feel like sharing a few thoughts about the people who annoy me.
- People who get on a semi-crowded train and stand in front of an empty seat. Um, no. You either SIT in the empty seat or you stand somewhere else. Don't make someone who wants that seat have to ask YOU to move. You suck as a human being and as a commuter.
- Ladies who do their makeup on a crowded train. Please, just, please. Get up 10 minutes earlier. You aren't doing that great of a job on your makeup anyway, so it's not like you need an hour in the bathroom. I hope you know that I secretly pray for the train to come to a sudden stop and that mascara wand gets lodged in your cornea.
- People who thank the person in front of them who held the door for them, but then not hold the door for the person behind them. When I said "thank you," person who annoys me, I was being sarcastic. Learn common courtesy, or please feel free to walk in front of a bus.
- Girls who wear black tights in August. It is August. You are not in Los Angeles and your last name is not "Richie" or "Hilton." So take your Coke-bottle glasses and your knit baby doll dress and your BLACK TIGHTS and please go away from me. You look ridiculous. And like you might smell a little.
- People who press the elevator light when it is already lit up. Oh, I guess my skinny fingers are too weak to press it the proper way, you prick. And now that you have pressed it, I guses you magically summoned the elevator to arrive. I hope next time you do that, you get stuck in it. With a large person with body odor.
- Speaking of large people, just because you are fat and I am skinny doesn't mean you get half of my seat on the train. Please don't seek me out and try to read the newspaper next to me. Try standing! You might burn some calories that way!
That concludes my spewing for the morning. I really need to start taking the Commuter Rail.
