Apparently I need a bigger penis.

I have received an onslaught of penis spam lately. Here's just a sampling of the subject lines:

• May I ask why you are so unhappy with your dick?
• Does your Mr. Winkie need upgrading?
• Prepare your love wand for the next battle!!

And the worst of all time,

• Have you ever felt the kiss of a womb? With longer penis you will!